What has God joined together? Is it God that joined them together? Marriage is a covenant of oneness. The closest similitude Paul, the apostle, could use as a narrative to explain the church and Christ is the marriage between a man and his wife. That is very powerful!
The closest resemblance of the union between the God-head – God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit – was Adam and Eve. God said, “It is not good for man to be alone; I will make him a helpmeet.”
God is Spirit, but he still wants to have a relationship with all men (including you), saying, “ it is not his will that any should perish…”. HE is interested in human affairs – Daniel 4:17.
God decided on the union between man and woman – Genesis 2:24. The only witness to that union was God Himself. He did not stop it nor did He judge it wrong; rather He gave to it his Blessing – Genesis 1:28.
Matthew 19 captures the concept of being “Joined Together” by God. Jesus was giving an answer to a question asked by the Pharisees, tempting him likewise. The question asked was, “Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause?” – Matthew 19:3.
The only joining together that God approves is that between a male and female – Matthew 19:4. It simply means if it is not between a male and a female, He did not join them together and it is not with His approval in any instance.
This is so powerful that the union of a male and a female has the power to make twain becoming one flesh. What does one flesh mean? It means they are not seen by God as male nor female but one entity with human manifestation to be able to give glory to God and bring forth godly seeds.
Your union as man and wife is a force of destiny. It is able to glorify God and continue a dynasty of His kingdom. Your marriage is an expression of Thy Kingdom Come – Luke 11:2.
The covenant of marriage is so powerful because it involves the life of two individuals whose being have intermingled into each other.
‘… Because the LORD hath seen witness between thee and the wife of thy youth…” – Malachi 2:14.
The man leaves his father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and the twain shall be one flesh. We need to understand the word ‘Cleave’. It means to be JOINED to ‘your wife’. Interestingly it didn’t say to a woman or the woman. The bible says ‘to his wife’. God is invested in the marriage relationship between the man and his wife. Solomon, in proverbs 19:14 says, ‘…and a prudent wife is from the Lord. A wife is a gift from the Lord. the next question you may ask is, but the bible says, ‘He that findeth a wife findeth a good thing…’ but also hear what Solomon says of how things are found, ‘it is the glory of God to conceal a thing: but the honor of kings is to search out a matter.’
It is the honour of a man to search out the wife that God has concealed for him. It is your honor as a man to search out the wife God has for you. The glory of God is the favor that you obtained when you found his gift to you.
When a man leaves his father and mother to join with his wife, God extends to him a token of favour as his seal of approval.
The phrase “Joined Together” in Greek means “to yoke together” or “conjoin.” This connotes the meaning that both of you are meant for each other, flesh for flesh. You have become one flesh by reason of oneness.
Let’s try to use an experimental occurrence. Let’s say Male A has a cup of salt and Female B has a cup of salt. We then ask them to pour their cup of salt into a big bowl and then give the bowl a shake for a good mix. Imagine asking any of them to find their own portion of salts in the bowl. What do we think would happen if they try. It would be a journey of a lifetime.
As much as we want to find our own portion of salt, it is impossible to. This is the same way God sees our union with our spouses. It is the UNION OF ONENESS!
‘…let no man put asunder’ – Matthew 19:7
Asunder, according to dictinary.com, means into separate parts; in or into pieces. In simple English, Matthew 19:7 literally means; let no man put to pieces what made whole or one flesh. In reference to Malachi 2, the responsibility is on he man not to treat his wife treacherously. It means let no man in the marriage issue a ‘writing of divorcement’ in the putting away of the woman for any cause. But when Moses did command to give a writing of divorcement because of the hardness of ‘your hearts’.
You, as the man, should not, for any reason or any cause, be in the position of separating from his wife. An asunder – writing of divorce – leads to a Divorce! God says, ‘… I hate putting away’ – Malachi 2:14-16.
Marriage is spiritual as much as it is earthly. The writing of divorcement is first spiritual before it becomes physical. How do we write the bill of divorce to the wife of our youth? Any treatment as the husband that is less than LOVE is a bill of divorce written to the woman that you are no longer desired as a wife.
The Pharisees thought it should be written because the woman was caught in the act of fornication; rather, Jesus pointed to the hardness of their hearts towards the woman. Why? The unconditional love of a husband towards his wife is the faithful living of the wife to her husband – Ephesian 3:5
This is so grievous before God that he would not hear the prayers of a wife whose husband does not treat right – 1 Peter 3:7.
Dear Husband: these 2 things, Do
“Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them (the wife) according to knowledge, giving honor unto the wife, as unto weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered” – 1 Peter 3:7
First: Dwell with them according to knowledge
Dear husband, the meaning of the word KNOWLEDGE is referenced as scientific knowledge. Scientific knowledge is knowledge, as of facts or principles; knowledge gained by systematic study (according to dictionary.com). God is saying, dear husband, live with your wife according to facts or principles from a systematic study of who and what she is. It is not according to your expectations of her nor the wishes of who or what she could possibly be.
This is so important for the joy of accepting the wife for her strengths and weaknesses. This is why God has graced us to love women unconditionally as husbands.
Second: Give Honor unto the wife.
Honor is the worth you put on something or someone for their distinctive difference that commands your admiration of authenticity. Anything or anyone you honor, you place value on. Place a value on your wife! A value of pricelessness is endless value; it cannot be quantified.
These two things are well important because the authenticity of the wife comes from:
- Being the weaker vessel (of honour); not weaker vessel to receive honour
- Being Joint Heirs together (with her husband) of the grace of life
What is the benefits of dwelling with knowledge and giving of honour: “that your prayers be not hindered.”
Let us conclude with 3 “asunder” of being Joined Together:
Disobedience to Divine Order
The divine order is the precept of God as it regards marriage. One of them being, ‘Husband Love your wife’. It is a righteous command graced by God to be executed out of trust. 1 Corinthians 13 lays out the attribute of Love. but beyond that it highlights the standard to which he is commanding the love – Christ loving the church and giving himself for her – Ephesians 5:25. It is a sacrificial standard of love.
Christ gave himself for us while we were yet sinners – Romans 5:8. It is not the submission of the wife that makes you love her. It is the command to love her as Christ that makes you love her. While she is yet to submit, love her.
The hardness of Man’s Heart
A heart that is bent on its own ways, is not malleable with God into a place of love and affection. A hardened heart is a heart that God cannot pour his love into for someone else that is precious to him – Romans 5:5. This kind of heart grieves the Spirit of God. A hardened can not love a wife. And this would mean dealing with the wife treacherously – Malachi 2:14-15.
Bitterness that defies
If the love of God can not be communicated through you, the ministry of grace would be lacking in the life of such a husband – Hebrews 12:15. Your bitterness as a man or husband would defy your wife and disable you from loving her unconditionally. The gall of bitterness is associated with the bond of iniquity – Acts 8:23. With bitterness comes verbal abuse – Romans 3:14.
We hope we have stirred up the revival fire in your heart towards God in the pursuit of true love for your wife. She is God’s gift to you as a husband. You were given as a trustworthy custodian in faith and truth. Be the standard of the image and likeness of God to your family.
In another article, we would share insightfully about divorce. God jealously guards the family tree that bears his name. Does He want anyone to be torn apart, not at all. Yet he won’t anyone perish in the name of marriage.