Why does God hate me? What have I done to deserve this kind of pain? Why didn’t He tell me before it happened? If He cared about me, He would have done something. Why is everybody happy but me? Can’t God just give me what I am asking for just once? Why God, why? What is the point of living righteously if you can do this to me?
These are some of the questions that plague our human minds as we go through life. Especially when we experience loss or when we feel like everything is not working as we expected or planned.
I have asked some of these questions too. I asked God “why?” when my sister was diagnosed with cancer the first time and again when the same cancer came back. “Why was she chosen to go through so much pain,” I wondered. When my family was in turmoil and we had no one to turn to, I asked “when will all this end so we can finally have peace?”
All the questions I have asked in over three decades of my life were nothing compared to the ones I asked when I had to bury my sister’s body after she had won the fight against cancer (I say “won” because she is with Jesus and that cannot be a loss, it is gain, every single time). I asked God all the questions I could come up with. I was convinced that he was punishing me for something.
You are not alone
We all have questions and we all have been through enough living to find reasons to ask them. So, you are not alone.
Jeremiah had questions:
“You are always righteous, Lord, when I bring a case before you. Yet I would speak with you about your justice: Why does the way of the wicked prosper? Why do all the faithless live at ease?” Jeremiah 12:1
The Israelites had questions:
“…..What do we gain by carrying out his requirements and going about like mourners before the Lord Almighty? But now we call the arrogant blessed. Certainly, evildoers prosper, and even when they put God to the test, they get away with it.” -Malachi 3:14
Job wanted a chance to ask God questions too:
“If only I knew where to find him; if only I could go to his dwelling! I would state my case before him and fill my mouth with arguments. I would find out what he would answer me, and consider what he would say to me.” -Job 23:3-5
Why would the bible record these questions? You would think that the holy book shouldn’t contain such unholy remarks, but it does. Because the book is about man’s experience as much as it is about Jesus and basic principles for living. If they were excluded, how will mercy be appreciated and understood?
Your Questions Do Not Surprise God
Questions are our minds’ way of making sense of what we can otherwise categorize as a senseless life occurrence. You have questions because you are human and God knows this: “for he knows how we are formed, he remembers that we are dust.” – Psalm 103:14
God is not surprised by our humanness. And although He expects us not to complain but to trust Him -because He has earned it -He is compassionate and patient and will not always strive with us. Your God and Father has experience with grief, He knows what it feels like to be in pain. He watched his only son suffer innocently for you. So do not think that He will judge you for coming to him with questions. He can handle it.
Does God really hate you?
No! God does not hate you. He couldn’t even if He tried, because He is love (1 John 4:7). He is so deeply and unimaginably in love with you. If He gave any human just a fragment of the weight of the love He has for you, it will be too much to bear. How do I know this? Aside from the fact that the Bible teaches this, I am also a living proof of His love.
But how can you know that God loves you? We can find the characteristics throughout the word, and he has given us a likeness of it in human relationships. There are ways to know that someone loves you. Let us look at a few ways to tell if someone loves you and see if God has the same qualities.
How To Know Love
- They make plans with you in mind and They want the best for you.
For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jer. 29:11
- They remember little details about you.
And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Matthew 10:30
- They take the time to know and understand you
“You have searched me, Lord, and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue you, Lord, know it completely.” Psalm 139:1-4
- They will always want to give to you.
“For God so loved the world that he gave his only son…” -John 3:16
- They will forgive you easily
You, Lord, are forgiving and good, abounding in love to all who call to you. -Psalm 86:5
- They make you feel safe
There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear because fear has to do with punishment. -1 john 4:18
God loves you!
All these we mentioned are nothing compared to God’s love for you. God’s love is unconditional and unfailing. He loves you perfectly and gave you the highest gift anybody can give you, life. Because He loves you, He will go to any length to protect you. Nothing in this life can ever, ever make him stop loving you. He loves you in spite of you. You cannot even earn His love, He gave it to you freely.
Scriptures About God’s Love
There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. -John 15:13
But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Romans 5:8
“I have loved you, my people, with an everlasting love. With unfailing love, I have drawn you to myself. -Jeremiah 31:3
“I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Romans 8:38-39
Since you are precious and honored in my sight, and because I love you, I will give people in exchange for you, nations in exchange for your life. -Isa 43:4
Even if my father and mother abandon me, the LORD will hold me close.-Psalm 27:10
How can a God who loves you this much turnaround and hate you? Beloved, God does not hate you. Your God can never hate you!
If he doesn’t hate me, why am I facing these issues?
The fact that bad things happen doesn’t automatically mean that God hates you. James 1:13 tells us that God doesn’t orchestrate evil. So, why do bad things happen to good people? Because the good people live in this not-so-good world. Jesus said “…In this world, you will have trouble.” (John 16:33) As long as we are in this world we cannot escape trouble. We will have good days and bad days. Sometimes we will have plenty and other times we will lack. King Solomon says it thus:
There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens: a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance. “ Ecclesiastes 3:1-4
The good news is that in the end, you will discover that all things worked together for our good. God takes even what the enemy meant for evil, to harm and destroy, and turns it for your good.
A Short Prayer
I do not know what circumstance you have faced that has you questioning God’s love and intentions towards you, or what has you convinced that he dislikes you; but I pray that every cloud of doubt will be lifted and you will be deeply rooted in his love. May the eyes of your understanding be enlightened so that you may know the depth, the width, the breadth, and the height of God’s love. I pray that the light of God’s love will flood your heart and the Holy Spirit will remind you of God’s love for you.
In Jesus’ name.