Forgiving oneself for something that feels unforgivable can be challenging, but it is possible with time, patience, and self-compassion. Here are some steps that can help you on your journey toward self-forgiveness. One of the essential keys to true forgiveness is understanding who can offer the forgiveness that we will seek.
Who You Think Can Forgive Will Lord Over You
How to Forgive Yourself for Something Unforgivable. If you think that all forgiveness comes from yourself, then you will be the Lord of your life. But if Forgiveness is really from God, then God will take his proper throne in your life. God has set a standard for all of humanity. We know these as the ten commandments. These are God’s laws that call every human to love God and love our neighbor. Here is the problem, we all fall short of this sin and need to be saved from the evil in our hearts. You can’t save yourself as a sinner; no amount of good work will make up for your sin. That is the bad news.
The good news is that God loves you so much that he sent his only begotten son to take on the sin that you deserve. When Jesus lived, he said, “I am the way, the truth, and the life; no one comes to the Father except through me.” He is declaring that he is God and that there is no other way except through him. If you want peace, forgiveness, love, patience, kindness, goodness, and so much more, you need to put your faith in the finished work of Jesus Christ.
Are you ready to accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior? Without doing so, you will never be truly forgiven. Even if a man says you’re forgiven, you will still be on the hook for your sin.
Working Towards Forgiveness in Christ
Acknowledge and take responsibility for your actions: It’s important to recognize and accept what you’ve done and take responsibility for it. It can be painful to admit fault, but it is a crucial step toward healing and moving forward. If you don’t accept that you are a sinner, you will never admit any need for Jesus. It’s in the admitting of sin that we run to the one who can save us.
Doing this helps you see yourself for who you are, not who you want to be. What we see in our society today is a lot of people with overinflated egos. People who think they are good because they have money, success, or because they look good and they don’t realize their spiritual needs. But when you look at the Law of God and see all of the places you have gone wrong, and you wrap your mind around the fact that Jesus paid it all to cover your sin, it will blow your mind. You will recognize your spiritual need and understand how massive the grace of God is.
Spread the Way of Forgiveness to Others
Recognize that everyone makes mistakes: No one is perfect, and everyone makes mistakes at some point in their lives. Recognize that what you did does not define you as a person and that you are not alone in your imperfection. The thing that separates Jesus from everyone else is the fact that he had no sin.
One of the best ways to be forgiven by Christ is to be a person who is quick to forgive others. How hypocritical is it to be forgiven by our perfect Father in heaven but not to forgive others?
It’s easy to be hard on ourselves and to hold onto guilt and shame. However, practicing self-compassion means treating ourselves with kindness and understanding. Recognize that you are human, and allow yourself to feel the emotions that come with your mistake. Guilt can be a great thing to lead us to repentance, but shame is dealt with at the foot of the cross. Guilt says you did a bad thing, whereas shame says I am a bad person.
The more we practice having compassion, the easier it will be to live in the grace of God. When I recognize that I am a sinner in need of grace, it’s easier for me to see that others are made in the image of God and that they, too, need Jesus in their lives. Having compassion means, we are willing to lead into hard conversations and situations for the sake of the Gospel.
Apologize and Make Amends
If your mistake has hurt someone, it’s important to apologize and make amends to the best of your ability. The first step is to apologize, but the second step is praying for the Spirit of God to change you. It means nothing to apologize and then continue hurting people. The best way to show you are really sorry is a change of behavior.
When you apologize, let that person know you have a plan of action not to hurt them again. They need to know that behavior change is the most important thing in your life.
Seek Support and Draw Close to God
Forgiving oneself can be difficult, and seeking support from loved ones, a therapist, or a support group can be helpful. Talking about your feelings and receiving support can help you to process your emotions and work towards forgiveness. But most importantly, you need to spend time with the Lord. Spend time in prayer, spend time in the word, and even in reflection. Think about how God is working and moving in your life.
One of the worst things you can do at this time is to seclude yourself from the world. You don’t want to put yourself in a position where you need God more than ever, and you’re trying to do it on your own. Instead, you need to lean into God and his people. We are called to carry one another burdens, not to experience joy apart from one another.
Remember that forgiveness is a journey and may take time. It’s important to be patient with yourself and to continue to practice self-compassion as you work towards self-forgiveness. By acknowledging your mistakes, taking responsibility, and practicing self-compassion, you can begin to let go of the guilt and shame and move towards a fulfilling future in Christ Jesus.